The Prayer of Faith

I recently went through a harrowing experience, my 11-year-old son very nearly lost his life in what can only be described in secular terms as a freak illness, but in spiritual terms as an attack from the enemy. I will be sharing the full story, just not in this post.

So we found ourselves one week after God’s divine healing back in the hospital, the scenario was eerily familiar. It didn’t look like deja vu, it was more like deja vu looked like it. As I sat in the emergency room praying with dread and fear, garnished with only a dash of faith, the Holy Spirit led me to do something rather unusual.

One of my interests is personal growth and so I read a lot of books and articles by successful individuals, Christians and non-Christians like Jim Rohn, Darren Hardy, Zig Ziglar to name just a few. A topic that is common to many is the discipline of setting and achieving goals and in a timely manner. Positive affirmation is writing  your future goals vividly in the now as though it has already happened, and then meditating on it so that it is implanted in the mind. For example:

Today’s date is June 15th 2013. I am sitting in my office overlooking the Hudson river and can just see Trump tower from here. My accountant has just sent me last year’s financial report and I am pleased to see that business has tripled in the last four months… You get the picture.

My Blackberry bears the brunt of most of my ideas and thoughts, I type it all in the memo. As the Lord spoke to me that evening in the emergency room, I whipped out my faithful phone and began to type:

1st May 2012

Dear Lord, 

I thank you for healing Reece when he had that nasty virus that threatened to take his life. I thank you that we experienced a real-life miracle in the 21st century. And Lord, I remember when he had a relapse on the 1st of may, I was so scared as I sat in the emergency room. But you healed him then too. Thank you that all of that is behind us now. He excels as a player in the NFL and the experience caused him to know you as his ever-present help in the time on need…”

I titled the memo Positive Affirmation and saved it. The I realised it was actually a prayer of faith and changed the title accordingly.

The relief I felt was instant. My faith shot up on so many levels and engulfed all dread and fear, my joy was restored and I knew, just knew that he was not going to battle with death ever again.

The word of God says we serve a God that calls or sees the things that be not as though they were, Rom 4:17- I have made you a father of many nations- have? They were too old for pregnancies!

Also in Exodus when the Children of Israel were bound for the promised land, God said every place the soles of your feet will tread upon, I have given to you. God calls the future (will) as though it is the past (have).

Isn’t our God awesome?

The next time I read that memo, 1 week later, the events were indeed a distant memory.

Are you believing God for something that currently seems impossible? You just might have a breakthrough with the prayer of faith.

Dear God,

I thank you for making me in your own image. I thank you for your commandment to reproduce and fill the earth. Lord, I remember when I was so worried that I wouldn’t find the right spouse to get married to, I thank you that you later blessed me with a wonderful man (or woman) of God and our marriage is beautiful. I thank you that we are now expecting our first child, I am enjoying decorating the nursery…

Unemployed?

Dear Jesus, I thank you that this time last year I had been unemployed for 8 months, there was no prospect or hope of finding a job. But look at what you have done? I am not only in my dream job, I have come to know you in an intimate way. The experience of being unable to provide for myself and my family drew me closer to you and I now teach others in a similar situation about your faithfulness…

 

I pray that God in his infinite mercy and faithfulness will give you the grace to persevere, and give you the gift of faith as you pray for a breakthrough in your life.

Thank you for reading, please comment and share if you have been blessed by this!

Out of the Wilds (wilderness)

Recently I asked the Lord a question. I was taking stock of a particular area of my life (like I seem to do a lot of these days) and wasn’t too pleased with the final count. It appeared I was moving forward but very, very slowly. It seemed as though while I was out of the pit,I was not out of the wilderness. Have you ever felt like you are constantly tethering on the brink of a breakthrough or a desired solution but never quite making it? This particular day I pictured Moses sitting on Mt Abarim, chatting with the Lord. God shows him Canaan, Canaan that he had risked his life for, that he gave up his past, present and future for. The place he lived for, after-all  Moses’ sole purpose was to get the children of Israel to the promised land. Children of Israel that were for the most part, disobedient, down right difficult and a rather annoying group of people.

Anyhow, that’s how I felt. Like I was sitting atop the mountain I’d painstakingly been climbing and all I could do was look at my dream, the success I’d laboured for, stare blankly at the vision I’d nursed and carried about for years and yet I couldn’t go in. So I asked God, Why? Why did it feel like all I was given was glimpses of what could be, like I was being fed with morsels while the main meal sat atop the table, untouched.

God’s response is what I’ll attempt to articulate. Elijah was a mighty man of God, faith wasn’t an issue with him. He was brave and made crazy, bold declarations. Yet he ended up in the wilderness in obedience to God and he had to rely on birds for sustenance. Yes we all know it was a miracle that birds would feed him, God did send those birds and that in itself is mind-blowing. I think that story is an excellent example of God’s promise never to leave or forsake us. The morsels of food brought by the birds was a blessing from God wasn’t it? But it wasn’t God’s best. Elijah wasn’t living in abundance. He had enough to keep hunger at bay. The wilderness is not a place for abundance. There is a time and a place for everything. If you happen to be surviving on scraps, just enough to get by despite God’s promises of provision or if you seem to be looking into your bright future (since you also know the plans He has for you) but can’t seem to get to the promised land, you just might be in the wilderness. And if you’re in the wilderness, God is right there with you and He is your sustenance. He is meeting your needs.

The wilderness isn’t a waste of your time or your life, it has a purpose and the purpose may not simply be for you to come out with a financial blessing on the other side, it may be for vital work to be carried out on the inside. Sometimes when you think it couldn’t possibly get worse, it does. Elijah’s brook dried up. Then God told him to get up from there and go to Zarephath where He had told a widow to feed him. Can you imagine though, if Elijah had disobeyed? When the word disobedience is used in the bible it comes across as a hard, obvious sin. Like deliberately hardening our hearts. I don’t know about you but there have been times that I have disobeyed God and didn’t know I was disobeying Him. I thought I was doing the right thing. The reason I thought so was because I didn’t know God’s voice. So when the Lord gave me an instruction, I had no clue He was even speaking. Now if Elijah did not know God, he wouldn’t have been aware of the instruction to leave the desert and go to the widow’s house. And he would most certainly have died of starvation. At that point all the folks in his village would say ‘I knew he was a mad man. Why did he go and kill himself in the wilderness? Which God told him to go there?’ But Elijah knew God’s voice, and in addition to that, he was obedient.

If you are in the wilderness, it helps to quieten down, and start to listen for the voice of God. Begin to know God by spending time in His presence. When you get to know His voice, you can then take action because the time will come when you have to leave the wilderness under His command- and move into a greater abundance.

As for the work being done in Elijah, wasn’t it right after that he blessed the widow with a never-ending supply of flour and oil? And after that raised her dead son? And let’s not even go into the conquest on mount Carmel!

Let’s turn our ears to the Lord, open our hearts and begin to know Him, hear his voice and walk in full obedience to him so our dreams do not die in the wilderness.

God bless you, have an awesome week!

Waiting on God or Waiting for God?

I won’t exactly describe myself as impatient, but there are times I do not like waiting. A good example is waiting in traffic, or waiting at the hairdresser’s for my turn. I am convinced the Lord created me to be pretty active. I am one of those rare creatures that actually gets infused with more energy as the day progresses and by midnight I reach my peak. At this point you may catch me doing anything from blogging to DIY.
So a while back I had some waiting to do. I had been waiting for this particular breakthrough from God. I prayed, fasted, mustered up all the faith that I could and believed God without wavering. The prospect was time-sensitive and when the time came and went, without the elusive breakthrough, I was crushed. You may well have been there before. I had to sit and ask God what happened. “Should I no longer trust you fully? Do you only answer the prayers of certain of your children, namely not Toks? Do you go by feelings, i.e answer me when you feel like it? The questions didn’t stop and not surprisingly the answers did not show up. In exasperation I got up from the dust, shook myself free of the dregs of remorse and decided, ‘Lord, if you won’t help me, I’ll help myself’, and I began to come up with plans B, C and D.
Now at this point I experienced two conflicting emotions. The first I understood, which was an accusing voice reprimanding me for having the audacity to think I could do anything without God. The second was a liberating feeling which left me somewhat confused. Liberating because I suddenly felt free and empowered to make a decision, and uncertain because I felt it was wrong to feel this way. A bit like having peace but since you haven’t ‘earned’ it you choose to worry.

Recently a dear friend went through a devastating disappointment. She had been waiting on God for a situation. The lights were green. The approval was stamped. All was set to go and then silence. Nothing. It didn’t happen. She struggled to make sense of this and it was during this period the Lord spoke to me about the difference between waiting on Him and waiting for Him.
Habakkuk 2:2 says write the vision and make it clear, that he may run who reads it. A vision is linked to activity, running not sitting. While I was waiting for God to come through, I should have been busy planning. I should have written a plan and worked it. I was to have been active and not sitting quietly for God to do the work. God opens doors for us but we have got to walk through those doors and in some cases run through them. It appears that we prefer the Lord to drag us through them. Our waiting for God to do the work, to carry out the activity for our vision will not get us anywhere. When all the cards appear to be stacked in your favor, it doesn’t mean that you should wait for God to play those cards too. You have to work! And not seeing a way forward isn’t an excuse because we walk by faith not by sight.
Proverbs 21:5 says the plans of the diligent leads to profit. Dictionary.com definitions:

Plan:
To develop in advance a scheme or method. E.g battle plans.

Diligent:
1.constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything: a diligent student.
2.done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking: a diligent search of the files.

A plan needs to be carried out before the work is done diligently, only then can success be realised.
Waiting on God on the other hand entails being in a quiet place with the Lord as you wait for an answer or instructions. I believe God will not carry out a task that He has equipped us to. Waiting on God will fall more into the category of should I marry Ben or not. I wouldn’t go ahead and start planning a wedding just because that fine brother proposed to me. I’ll wait on God to hear from Him and get direction- before I plan (to wed or to walk).
Proverbs 21:31- The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord. This means that even in an uncertain situation, when you don’t know whether or not you’ll even survive the battle, you must still prepare and plan. The ultimate victory belongs to God not you, but you have a part to play. Can you imagine a soldier going out to war and not putting any armour on, or going with a hungry or overfed horse that can’t even trot? And then saying ‘I’m trusting the Lord for victory’?
We do this so often as Christians. Throw ourselves out to the elements and leave it to God to sort us out, like going unprepared for an interview and asking the Lord to “turn the interviewer’s heart in my favour and bless me with the job”.
Let us not be foolish or negligent of the word of God, Proverbs 16 says Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans shall succeed, and vs 9; A man’s heart plans his course but God directs his path.
I have since learned to pray, plan and proceed all the while listening for God’s leading and direction. I’d rather do that than sit and wait, I believe God is glorified when he sees us use the ability He placed in us. Imagine how proud He must have been of Noah as he busied Himself planning and building that massive ark? Don’t you want God to be proud of you too?
Thank you for stopping by, do share your thoughts!

Begin weaving and God will provide the threads

One of my favourite proverbs is a German proverb- Begin weaving and God will provide the threads. 

This morning I read Jeremiah 1:4-12, it is one of the scriptures I read daily and I’ve done for the last 2 years. But today I received a new meaning from it that I’ve never previously noticed.

God told Jeremiah what He had appointed, or gifted him to do. Jeremiah was surprised and quickly “corrected” God- I am only a child, I don’t even know how to speak! God planted this gift or ability in him. I picture the Lord about to create Jeremiah for the first time, I don’t even know if there was a first time because the word says ‘before I created you I knew you’. So God already had in His mind what Jeremiah would be before He made him. And then he went ahead and made him to be exactly that. But Jeremiah didn’t know, so the Lord told him. Naturally he took stock of his abilities, his accomplishments and his failures- the resume did not reflect anything that God was saying. Appointed to address the nations? He could barely address his neighbour! He was only a child and couldn’t even speak, what was God talking about?

But the Lord went on; ‘…do not give excuses, do not say ‘I’m only a child, but you must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you…’  Then the Lord touched Jeremiah’s mouth and said; ‘Now, I have put my words in your mouth’.

Are you supposed to be doing something but don’t know what it is? Jeremiah didn’t know either so God told him, He wants to tell you too. Or perhaps you do know but are waiting for the threads to be provided? Jeremiah was certain that he couldn’t speak to the nations, but the Lord knew otherwise. It was while Jeremiah was in God’s presence that the Lord touched hi’s mouth and put His words in there. You are anointed and gifted to walk a certain path. You may not feel like it, or even see a semblance of the ability in you, spend time in God’s presence so He can touch your mouth too. Or your hands. Or your mind. Whatever it is, you can be certain that the one who created you knows, after all before you were even in your mother’s womb he knew that you will be what He wanted you to be.

Stop with the excuses. My excuse tends to run from the colour of my skin to the need of a cash injection in my business, what’s yours?

I pray that as you go into the Lord’s presence, you will allow him to touch you and set your gift alight and that you will be obedient and do what He has commanded you.

Thanks so much for reading, have a blessed day!

Jeremiah 1:4-12 NIV

⁴ The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

 ⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, 
   before you were born I set you apart; 
   I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

 ⁶ “Alas, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

 ⁷ But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.

 ⁹ Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. ¹⁰ See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

 ¹¹ The word of the LORD came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”

   “I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied.

 ¹² The LORD said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.”

The Epiphany

I hope you have one too, like I had this week. I read Deuteronomy 28 almost daily, I pronounce the blessings over my life and I find that it stirs me up to work harder and smarter because those blessings have been promised to us. Of course there are times, numerous times when the scripture refuses to agree with my life, like it doesn’t want to be identified with me.  Those are the days that I find I overcompensate by working so hard but the blessings elude me. I pray and believe God and read the word but it insists on appearing as nothing more than beautiful, ancient prose. Well this week I read that scripture again, along with a short devotional that generally said Go wants to bless you, just read Deuteronomy 28:1-12 for proof.

Then it hit me! God really did design us to be successful. Not only that he wants us to be. Sadly that has become such a cliché, I pray it becomes a revelation for you. Now my definition of success is not living in a mansion and owning a fleet of gleaming vehicles. The success I refer to is contentment &  joy- enough to make you feel you have a purpose on earth and you are fulfilling it. Health so good that your doctor hardly recognises you when you show up for your annual check-up. Relationships so great that you are on speaking terms with everyone, and not dodging their phone calls or of course speaking negatively about the absent. The kind of success that has you confident about paying your bills, and you have no qualms giving and blessing others. That is the success I refer to. I realised that God created me with nothing but good intentions for my life. When He made me he did so perfectly. He  did so in love. God made me with the plan that I would do very well in life, in fact so well that I’ll be the head and not the tail. And that my labor will be fruitful and my children will not bring me sorrow. And since He is all-powerful, whatever the Lord says, stands. So why does my life not align itself with His promises for me? I have done some soul-searching, as I wrote about in the post below and yes those are some of the reasons, but there must be more. Then my epiphany happened!

When the Lord created me, He didn’t give me money or clothing to come into the world with. He placed abilities inside of me. All that I need to live a successful life is already inside me. Gifts, talents, personality, I was born with it- so were you. As I type this I am reeling with excitement because I believe that. When I went to boarding house my mother filled no less than 2 suitcases with everything imaginable. Half of the stuff never got used but she made sure that I went prepared each time to face the challenging but fun life of boarding house. She packed an extra this and an extra that ‘just in case’.

The Lord sent us into this challenging, beautiful world that he created just for you and I, He did so with everything that we would need. He didn’t give us suitcases but He placed them in a condensed form inside of us. We do not use all that the Lord has placed inside of us, yet those gifts and talents lie buried, waiting to be released. The good thing about our gifting is that unlike the canned food mama gave me, there is no expiry date and the moth cannot get to it. Even if you have let them lie fallow for years, you can still reach deep down and obtain them. God is good. He wants only the best for you, that’s why He made you. That you would live a beautiful life, the  beauty glorifies Him, makes Him proud that His plan for you has come together. I realized that I’ll be robbing myself and robbing God if I do not accomplish His calling upon my life. Reincarnation is an appealing story as you get older, but it is nothing but a fantasy. You really do not get a second chance to make something of your life. This is it. It all starts with obedience, you need to stay in the presence of God to get to know His voice. You also need to begin to obey the instructions of the Holy Spirit, however far-removed they may seem from your goals. He lives inside of you and will only lead you to God’s perfect plan for your life.

Lets do it!

Deuteronomy 28:1-12

God don’t like ugly

Ugly. Even the word evokes feelings of discomfort, like something isn’t quite right, isn’t the way it should be, or that it should look better. Recently the lord showed me the ugliness that lay within me. It wasn’t pretty. I didn’t even realise that I had lived with such emotions for goodness knows how long! I hope you don’t mind me sharing the ugliness with you, just in case some of it has managed to sneak into your life unnoticed. I warn you this post might well have e a part 2, 3 or even 10 as God is still working on me!

Condemnation

This is the feeling of either being condemned or me condemning someone. And there have been lots of incidents of both in my life.

The scripture (Rom 8:1) says there is therefore now no condemnation for us because we are in Christ Jesus. The message translation says

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here for us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud.

I came to understand that condemning thoughts- fear, failure, doubt, unbelief, sorrow, were all black clouds which we must not live under. My black clouds showed up in the form of poor business sales, feelings of despondency when I felt I hadn’t done well as a mother, or when I yielded to the temptation to dwell in the past. What are your dark clouds?

The flip side of living under condemnation is condemning others. To look at someone and declare them unfit for good use. God didn’t give up on us so we shouldn’t give up on others.

The second ugliness is having a Critical spirit.

Matt 7: 1(The MESSAGE) “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults – unless, of course, you want the same treatment. 2 That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. 3 It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbour’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. 4 Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? 5 It’s this whole travelling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a wash-cloth to your neighbor.

A critical spirit is always ready to judge. Fault-finding. The word of God tells us to work on ourselves and not on others. Again here’s a call to examine yourself. What faults do you exhibit when measured against the word of God?  Gossip, Laziness, Procrastination, greed, selfishness, outbursts of anger?  I think we can all agree that there is so much within us that we really shouldn’t have time to criticize others.  When tempted to criticize lets stop and look at ourselves first, we just might find that we need work done too.

The 3rd is Cynicism

Cynic is a person who believes that people are selfish and are only interested in helping themselves.

When  offered help, the cynic believes the other person has a hidden agenda. A cynic cannot simply receive a blessing; he believes there must be a catch somewhere. A cynic believes all pastors are out to get their money. A cynic believes all Christians are hypocrites. The reason the Lord told me about cynicism was because I was one. Still am sometimes- I warned you God’s still working on me! I have missed business opportunities because of my cynicism. I have missed some of God’s blessings because I was too cynical to recognise them as coming from Him. I’m not saying do not bless or give, but search yourself and your motive behind your actions.

Next is Competitiveness; A contest between rivals

This notion that life is one big race is wrong. Life is a journey. On that journey like any other there are sights and experiences.  When the Lord told me competition was an area to work on, it was because I was competitive with some friends. Specifically- a friend. I initially thought the Lord meant she was competitive and yes she was, but I in turn competed with her. I’m not sure if guys deal with this but it is quite common with women. It’s just the way we are.  I remember  it being all over the news how two celebrities wore the same dress- unknowingly to the Oscars, or some other big award night. It was sacrilege. All over the papers headlines read; “How could this have happened” Others compared and contrasted, who looked better than the other in the dress. I daresay one or both women went into hiding for a while after this disgraceful event.

Competition seeks to outdo the other person, and you can only compete if there is someone else in the race with you. It doesn’t matter if your husband was clearly wrong, let it go. . There’s no need to “win” an argument- you are not Ussain Bolt.

The last ugliness so far is Comparing myself to others.

Comparing yourself to others is of little advantage to you, regardless of whether it is done favourably or not.

I want to be a successful business woman, so I read a lot about women who have gone before me. I want to see how they did it so I can do the same too. I also want confirmation that it is quite normal to go weeks without a single order. The trouble starts when I start to compare myself unfavourably with them. I look at my little business and look at their big one. I realise they had a cash injection via inheritance, I have none.  They are white, I am black. They have a British accent with a name like Suzy, I have an African accent with a name like Tokunbo.  All that happens is me becoming discouraged and convinced that I can’t do what God has enabled me to do. My journey seems so hard compared to her’s, the challenges are different. Ever heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side? That’s because you’re comparing your grass to theirs.

I urge you to ask the Lord to help you in unearthing the ugliness within you. If you are honest and truly desire God’s correction, the Holy Spirit our helper will help you to exhume all that is buried beneath, and be prepared, it might take a long while.

Thanks so much for reading, I promise not to be gone so long again!

Feel the Fear

Feel the fear and do it anyway is a quote that has helped me along a lot. I spoke to a dear friend who is about to strike out on her own into self employment and I picked on a familiar sense of apprehension. I believe strongly in taking a hold of your own life rather than placing it in the hands of someone else. Sometimes that means becoming self-employed, in other situations it means deciding the path of your career. Rather than relying on a promotion at work, educate yourself, sit some exams and improve yourself in the direction you want to go, then go there. I think it was Noori Shadri (Pepsi CEO) who turned down a promotion because although it would have meant more money and responsibility, it wasn’t exactly the direction she wanted her career to take.

You may have come across the acronym of fear, (False Evidence Appearing Real). My over-analytic mind struggles to accept that acronym- I would typically respond by asking “What if the evidence is actually real?” I don’t exactly live by it, I have tried but it just doesn’t work for me.  Instead I prefer to feel the fear and do it anyway. Because I know the fear is real.

Fear can be used to our advantage. We have a fight or flight mechanism built into us which makes us run when we see danger, it protects us. We can also use fear to tell if we are stepping out of our comfort zone, the first step in moving forward in life is the step outside our comfort zone. Have you come across Christians who choose to use fear and other negative emotions as an indication that God does not want them to go there? Perhaps you are one of those. I know I have done that. Like trying to start a new venture and everything just seem to be stacked up against you. Since it isn’t smooth sailing certainly cannot be of the Lord. Well Jesus never promised it will be smooth sailing. As a matter of fact He said that in this world you will  you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. God forbid that the only way He can communicate with His children is through fear and other negative emotions. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the Holy Spirit does disturb our spirit when things are not right. The peace of God guards our hearts and minds into all truths, so when the peace of God is missing it is time to sit up and be alert. There is a difference between the absence of peace and the presence of fear- another blog, another time.

But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. Some versions say cheer up, another says be brave or be courageous. These are all antonyms of fear. The Lord has warned us that fear is expected as we go through life with its troubles, but rather than becoming a victim of paralysis by fear, we need to be brave, be courageous, be cheerful because He has overcome the world, praise God!

This brings us back to my point. Are you afraid? If so you are on the right side of the dirt. You are “in this life where you will experience many troubles”, that is plenty to be grateful for. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, you need to memorize that scripture along with the antonyms of fear and surge along for Jesus has overcome the world and it’s troubles.

Thank you for reading, don’t hold back from sharing your thoughts in the comments box, its a good feeling! Have a blessed day!

Is God Good? Really?

There are some phrases Christians use that have become clichés. Sometimes it is an actual scripture that no longer holds the meaning it should. God is good. It is well. We walk by faith. Have faith- are just some of the examples.

The time had come in my life when I hit a brick wall, I had to ask God if His word was really true. I spent many a night praying as I begged for a breakthrough in my circumstance. I had reached the proverbial brick wall and had absolutely no way out. I asked people to pray for me, many of the pastors who prayed gave me a good word that God had “done it“. I don’t know if you have ever been given a bad word,  “No, you shall remain in poverty all your life- look at the starving people in Asia and Africa” or “No you will not be healed, you shall remain sick forever” or “your husband shall continue cheating on you, it isn’t God’s will to bless your marriage- after-all you are not the only one with problems“. Seriously though, nothing positive happened after the prayers  so in desperation I turned to God.

Isn’t it funny how as Christians it is possible to be in church regularly, be involved in ministry yet have our backs turned to God? We pray daily, read the bible and can quote scriptures in 3 to 5 different translations, yet we don’t have a close enough relationship to turn to our loving father. I am not denouncing being prayed for, by all means have someone pray for you. but I believe you can only truly meet the Lord when you come yourself. There is no mediator between God and man except the Lord Jesus. 1 Tim 2:5

In those quiet times I learned the meaning of the scripture, we walk by faith and not by sight. I came to understand that just because my circumstances hadn’t visually changed did not mean that God had not answered. And that God’s answer may not be my desired answer. I learned that walking by faith meant not walking by what you could see. I learned that sight, in actual fact was a representation of your physical senses. You don’t make decisions or come to conclusions based on what you can see, feel or hear. You make decisions based on faith in the word of God. Did God say none shall be barren in the land?  Then you start by believing you are productive because God has said so. Your body might tell you otherwise, but that’s sight right? You don’t come to the conclusion based on what your body tells you. I also understood that if the word of God says it, then it is true. So it helps to find a scripture that addresses the particular issue and ‘make it yours’.

I don’t believe God visits evil on His children. But I do believe He makes all things work together for the good of them that love Him. Rom 8:28.  This means even the challenges, he makes good out of it. The pain, He makes good. The good may not be the opposite of what you are going through, e.g riches for poverty, but it may well be that you draw nearer to Him to drink from His well. It may be learning and experiencing the goodness of God on such a supernatural level that it supersedes whatever earthly distress you are going through. It could even be that God is pruning and/or preparing you for His service, I don’t know, but I know that IT IS GOOD!

God is good. I don’t need my circumstance to define that for me. Where I am today is only temporary and unpleasant as it is, it is the painful part of the crafting of my life to form a beautiful picture… My Journal entry, May 2010

I pray that the Lord meets you at the point of your need and perfects all that concerns you. And if you have been handpicked for a trial, His grace will be sufficient for you, it is indeed well.

Thank you for reading!

What I’ve Learned for Sure

I am so excited! 2010 is drawing to a close and I am here to witness it. I started to write this post about 2 weeks ago when I was gripped by fear, what if you don’t make it? Thankfully the Lord reminded me that premature death is not his plan for His creation, and that my future is in His hands. And if pre-mature death does occur, like it sometimes does, there is more to the story- a bigger picture and it is well with me. So here I am!

The start of a new year has got to be my favorite time of the year. I look back on the past year and reflect on it. This year, however is very different. I am genuinely pleased that we are in the last week of 2010. This time last year I couldn’t wait to get into the new year. My attitude was more of hope, hope that the new year held better things than the previous. I was eager to say goodbye to the year as it had been a challenging one.

It is not the same today. I am excited because I still have a few days to finish up unfinished projects. I want to finish strong and start next year right. I usually write out resolutions and goals. My goals are the same, but my resolutions have altered. This time I actually have a working strategy.

What I have learned for sure:

That the challenges that  I encountered were not meant to trip me up, but to make me stronger. Instead of being afraid when trials come, I have learned to embrace them and look for the lessons in them. Sometimes the lessons are obvious like the consequence of not being careful or exercising poor judgment as a result of not educating myself prior to making a decision. Other times the lessons are subtle, like the Lord teaching and training me to rely on him and put my confidence in him. I also learned to embrace and accept my weaknesses, mistakes and failures. My weaknesses are a part of who I am. I was created with those weaknesses so really I have nothing to be ashamed of. God is made strong in my weaknesses. I have friends who support me in particular areas. For example I wasn’t born organized but I have two amazing friends, Tola and Tiwana who are natural-born organizers. I remember once when Tola visited me at the store, she got to work and sorted absolutely everything out- dishevelled desk, files, and even invoicing without having any knowledge of the business. Tiwana and I stayed at the same hotel once and I of course was unpacked and unprepared for my early morning flight the next day. When I don’t get enough sleep I generally can’t get anything done, let alone sort out suitcases. She got in there and packed all our suitcases in no time and without breaking any sweat. It was like the fairy godmother of cleaning sprinkled some magic dust in my hotel room!

I have learned gratitude.  I used to wait for great things to happen before being thankful. Now I know that there are at least 206 bones to thank God for daily, 2 lungs, one heart, a brain, and then there are the body functions. I sleep and I awake- daily. I eat and enjoy my food. I can speak, I can hear, I have a functioning sense of taste, need I go on? Then there are relationships. My husband and sons, my parents, brothers, in-laws, cousins, friends, Facebook. Lets not forget work. I have an income. I work in an area I am gifted in so work always feels like play. I look forward to Monday mornings I don’t dread it.  There is also God. I actually have a relationship with the one who created me. Not only do I speak to Him, He actually loves my company. I once worked at McDonald’s and didn’t even know the regional manager. But I know the one who created him. I start and end my day now with 10 things I am grateful for and that keeps my eyes of the things that I want but don’t yet have.

I am glad that for the first time ever, I look back on the year without any regrets whatsoever. Yes there cringe-worthy moments I won’t forget ever like when I messed up an order with a VIP client, or when I wasted my time on unproductive activities, but I have no regrets because I can now guard against them and won’t be making many of those mistakes again.

Death. We lost a loved one this year. I learned that death is certain, sometimes it happens prematurely sometimes not. It is always so sad when a young person dies but in our case we take solace in the fact that he is in heaven.  He really is with the Lord and we are thankful that God made a way for mankind not to die an eternal death. I have learned that it is far better to live and die in Christ than to live for yourself- or anyone else for that matter.

I challenge you to make a list of the things you are thankful for that happened this year, the lessons you learned, the lessons you don’t want to re-learn and close the door on the past and move forward with joy and expectation into the new year!

Happy New Year!

It’s all in the Mind

This was my mum’s response to us if we had a headache, leg-ache, any type of ache that resulted from climbing trees too quickly or riding our bikes too long. Very annoying at the time as she always said it with a smile (she does most things with a smile) but on hindsight it worked. The ailing child skipped away and forgot their pain. Following my last post I have taken things to another level and now completely expel any thoughts- rational or irrational that is negative from my mind. By that I mean doubt, fear, hate, anger, gossip, jesting, etc. It’s been hard! So often I catch myself dwelling on a negative thought that I didn’t even invite. It’s funny how we wake up in the morning and uninvited thoughts start filtering in ever so gradually, too often we let them stay there in the name of ignoring them. We need to be active and expel those thoughts.

I recently had a running with fear. That can be so gripping if you have dealt with anxiety before. It overwhelms you and clouds your every judgment. It becomes the bane of your very existence until the issue goes away. The Lord showed me that perfect love drives out all fear. And he who fears is not made perfect in Love 1John1v18.  That became my ammunition against fear. It didn’t go away immediately but eventually it did. Every time I felt fear come upon me -which by the way masquerades itself in many forms- worry, anxiety, uneasiness, dread, doubt. Sometimes the Lord will have you go through something you absolutely hate so you can learn to deal with it. Deal with it, not live with it. Fear was one of the issues the Lord led me to identify when I went through my soul- searching exercise and after He gave me that scripture, I began to meditate on it and speak it out loud. I turned it into a prayer of thanks (thank you that I am made perfect in love) I turned it into a prayer request (Lord help me feel your perfect love, wrap your  big, loving arms around me; cause me to know you love me perfectly and that I have your perfect love inside me), turned it into a praise song (God you are so perfect, even your love sef is perfect…). I did all that I could with this scripture and even alphabetized it (only kidding!) At that precise moment I was out of town and driving on the highway, and  missed my exit. And I needed gas. And I was praying. My worship song changed tones and sounded more like “Why would God let me miss my exit when I’m talking to him?” There was no service station in sight and the Lord led me to one. If I hadn’t missed my exit I would not have found the service station. That’s perfect love exemplified!

Convinced I was now “cured” of this issue, I was very surprised when I went on to experience two more typical situations where dread would rise up within me, I seriously couldn’t understand why having prayed and experienced God’s love I should be faced with it again and so soon after. I was certain praying against an issue meant never having to face the issue again, wrong! The Lord dropped me right in the middle of it and I had to deal with it. How do you know your strength if you don’t fight? So I had to come head on with this enemy and deal with it- and it is well and truly dealt with all glory to God.

When we go through trials we do ourselves a great disservice by allowing the trials to go by us, but standing by and not actually going through the fire. The word of  God says the fire will not burn you and the waters will not overflow over you- (Isaiah 43 vs 2). The Lord showed me that standing by for the trial to pass only invites it back at a later time. Unless you face it head-on and deal with and overcome it, you will not grow past that point.  Are you going through a tough time? I urge you to ask the Lord to teach you, show you the lesson. Trials are meant to be useful, remember God causes all things to work together for our good. If you don’t keep a journal I recommend keeping one. Writing your trials and the lessons learned helps to remind you that there is a purpose.

I LOVE this song by Marvin Sapp!